I never saw a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you anyhow
I'd rather see than be one.
-- Gellett Burgess
I've never seen a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But from the milk we're getting now
There certainly must be one
-- Odgen Nash
Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"
I'm sorry now I wrote it
But I can tell you anyhow
I'll kill you if you quote it.
-- Gellett Burgess, many years later
My favorite fortunes
Wed, 12/23/2009 - 06:39
#2
Omg this made me laugh so
Omg this made me laugh so hard
My Bonnie looked into a gas tank,
The height of its contents to see!
She lit a small match to assist her,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.
Mon, 01/04/2010 - 18:12
#3
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's Club which is strictly for Men. Admission is free, pay at the door, Pull up a chair, and sit on the floor. It was a summer's day in winter, And the snow was raining fast, As a barefoot boy with shoes on, Stood sitting in the grass. Oh, that bright day in the dead of night, Two dead men got up to fight. Three blind men to see fair play, Forty mutes to yell "Hooray"! Back to back, they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, Came and arrested those two dead boys.
Thu, 01/28/2010 - 06:16
#5
That one was good, but here's
That one was good, but here's my all time favorite:
The software required Win95 or better, so I installed Linux.
Sat, 02/27/2010 - 06:32
#6
There are two times when a
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -- before
marriage and after marriage.
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OMG had to post these as they made me laugh so hard
Brigands will demand your money or your life, but a woman will demand both.
-- Samuel Butler
There is no such thing as an ugly woman -- there are only the ones who do
not know how to make themselves attractive.
-- Christian Dior